![]() ![]() However, the Tech Head stands up and says he's never seen him before in his life. Irritated by him the scientist asks what department he's from and he tells them he works in tech support. The scientist is disturbed and tells him that no CCRP employee will be having sex with the android but Ted insists they will. Ted laughs at the design and makes a remark about boning it. In the meeting, the CCRP scientist is showing plans for CCRPs new android revealing it to be in the likeness of Emma. Ted then heads to the meeting, he walks in late and slides into a seat at the back. After hitting the door multiple time Ted finally manages to get it open and finds that it had been nailed shut. He gets up and heads to his usualy Monday morning meeting, however, he finds that he's unable to open his door. Ted wakes to his phone alarm going off and realises that he must have fallen asleep in the office. As he says this he begins to get sleepy and falls asleep. Ted begins to get annoyed with how long his printer is taking stating that it's going to take 85 years. Ted agrees and heads to the CCRP office but is unable to find the reports on Paul's desk so goes into his own office to print them off himself. Paul comes up to him and asks if Ted will be able to go find his weekly reports and put them on Mr Davidson's desk for him as he forgot. Ted wakes up screaming and finds himself once again at Paul and Emma's wedding. The thing suddenly appears in front of Ted pulling him up by his jacket and warning him that he's coming to get him. Ted is terrified as the thing points at the box he holds telling him that it's the Bastards Box where he ( Tinky) keeps all his little toys like Ted. On the dance floor, he sees a figure in a baggy, matted, rotten fursuit that looks like a goat. Suddenly the wedding is gone and Ted finds himself alone in the wedding hall surrounded by piles of rotting food. The man opens the present and pulls out the Bastard's Box. ![]() Jenny pulls out a small gift and gives it to Ted. Ted and Jenny dance and then go to sit at the place of honour where they eat wedding cake together. On the dance floor, Ted finds Jenny in a wedding dress and realises somehow that the wedding has shifted to being his wedding. Ted spots Paul and encourages him to go to the dance floor much to Ted's confusion. It is at this point that the DJ asks for the married couple to come to the dance floor for their first dance. He gets a bottle of vodka and begins to wallow in self-pity at an empty table. However, Ted doesn't care and pushes his way to the front of the open bar. Hidgens seems to understand Ted's pain and begins to reminisce about his own youth, implying he had a relationship with Chad. He then tells Hidgens that in order to prevent it from happening again he became that pushy bastard. Ted laments to the man about how he's begun failing at picking up women and then begins to tell him about the only woman he's ever loved, Jenny, and how he eventually ended up losing her after she moved to Clivesdale with some 'pushy bastard'. ![]() After failing to successfully pick up Emma, Sylvia and Charlotte, Ted wallows in self-pity in the corner with Professor Hidgens. The story opens with Ted attempting to flirt with girls at the reception of Paul and Emma's wedding. Will he use this awesome ability to save his life. Ted, the horny bastard from CCRP's technical department, discovers that his office is a time-machine. ![]()
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